Yet again, my trust in my world has taken a battering.
Oh, thanks, ARe. The cherry on the top of the year that was 2016.
Many authors/readers/bloggers have posted their thoughts on the matter. Some have been angry, others practical. One was just plain condescending. You can Google them and decide for yourself. Me, I'm just numb. I wish I could pour my thoughts into articulate blogs as others can, but my mind freezes. At the time, all I could think were thoughts beginning with F and ending with Hell.
Last quarter was my first dip into self-publishing for a couple of years. Now I've lost the royalties for the release of Morning My Angel. It's not a huge amount, but in context, I could have paid my bills for a couple of months. Now, I'm lucky if I can buy a chocolate bar. I'm so damn glad I put Alpha Barman on Kindle Unlimited.
I was a Silver Publishing author, and I lost money there. Noble Romance just stopped, but they paid up. I've been lucky to avoid the living hell that is Ellora's Cave and Torquere's demise. I self-published. I need distributors and now All Romance has run off with my money.
Every time something like this happens, I get scared. I've got my entire income wrapped up in this genre, and it keeps going tits up. When I first started I was told not to put all my eggs in one basket. It's great advice but when each basket develops a hole in the bottom where do we go?
M/M Romance is a niche genre. You know how many people go "Eww!" when you talk about men loving other men? Too many. No matter how much we want to think otherwise, we are still a tiny part of the romance genre overall, and our options are limited.
I work for Dreamspinner. I am published by Dreamspinner. I feel sorry for the fires they have to put out every time someone else screws up, because my faith and trust in my remaining publishers takes a knock. I wonder when the next shoe is going to drop, and Dreamspinner doesn't deserve that. But I need another basket. I've started self-publishing again, to create a nest-egg of my own. Oh look, a distributor has run off with my money. MY money. Fucking hell! Is anything safe?
So yes, I'm numb. I keep trying and things keep going wrong. Is this the universe telling me to give up? Or should I 'art harder' because one day the basket will stay plugged. I don't know, I really don't.